Monday, 14 April 2014


Another White Knight Is Put To Rest

Obituary Page - PUTP Apr 2014

Friday, April 11th was the day she took her last spin around the block. During her time with us, the White Van did leave her mark, and not only the stains left on our driveway from her leaking engine block, transmission, power steering, radiator, and gas tank. But, she left a mark in our life, in our hearts, in our little world.
She joined our life as a replacement for the much loved Red Van after it was crashed into and destroyed. With reluctance the citizens of the PUTPs saved her from a sleazy hole-in-the-wall used car dealer who was selling her off to the lowest bidder - which turned out to be us. Over the next five years she served her time well and never asked for much, aside from that water pump after her original one burst.
She was there to see the birth of Oskie, and drive him home from the hospital. She was there to tow our first pop up trailer. She took us to the drive in, the beach, camping, and even to the USA. She was a tough one who held it together that day we slid down the side of that ice covered hill and she had to be rescued by a tractor. Her tinny sounding cassette player taught the kids songs from Weird Al Yankovic (the only cassette found in the PUTPs). Her intermittent power windows caused both amusement and frustration, but, looking back now we can laugh. She taught us one of those life lessons that many miss out on - that even without working windows, you can still go through a Tim Hortons Drive Thru, you just need to open your door.
After 13 years of lugging around at least one wonderful family, she finally succumbed to the inevitable power of Mother Nature and rusted out. We will think of this not as an ending, but, rather as the start of something new. You will be missed.

Services will take place at the local metal recycling plant (at the giant car crushing machine).

Kingston | 7:02 am

Wednesday, 9 April 2014


Saturday March 15th - The Place Under The Pine became over run with magic, transforming into a compressed, and less castle like, version of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Reports of seemingly normal looking children running into a brick wall, near a strange 9 3/4 sign, began coming in at around 1 pm.

Next, bags of strange looking money were being toted by the small horde of energetic children (some of whom were also carrying cats, toads, and even owls). Flamboyantly dressed and beastly looking visitors were also seen milling around with the crowd. Something strange was going on. Something that could not be explained.

However, not more than two minutes later order had been restored and the young visitors were being dressed in a uniform - a plain black robe.

One by one these children were seen sitting on a bench while a ragged black hat was placed on their head. Witnesses claimed they heard the hat talk. At which point the child would get up and walk over to a sign - Gryfindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin. It was a strange ceremony, with a lot of nervous faces turning into smiles of relief. By the end of this sorting ceremony there was a big line under Slytherin and a only a couple of other children under the other signs. We are still looking into the significants of this.

Next these sorted children were seen waving craggly looking sticks in the air. Witnesses reported unexplained events when some sticks were waved. Sometimes a candle would light up!

After all of the young students, and even the adults, had obtained a stick the group moved to another room. They all gathered around a table where a turban clad man seemed to explain to the younger ones about planting. They were then seen covering their ears while planting small seeds in small pots. A sheet found later on the scene explained the characteristics and uses of the Mandrake plant.

Shortly thereafter, the black clad, stick wielding children were seen making their way single file down the basement stairs. The atmosphere down there was described by witnesses as 'dark and spooky'. A raggedly dressed woman with big glasses talked to the children while looking deep into a crystal ball. Parts of her conversation were heard, bits about mountains, energy, cats, and cake. One child was heard asking about the end of the world? Judging by the seemingly random topics we are led to believe this was a psychic of some sort.

After all of the children had been given a reading of their future they bounded back upstairs in good spirits to assemble around a table. On the table was a clear glass bowl of water. At this point the details become sketchy, all we know is that the children waved their sticks, threw what looked like a scotch mint into the water, and then started yelling about towels and toilet paper!

When all of the shouting had settled down, and a few faces sparkling clean, the group again moved into the dining room. This is where we finally caught up with the gaggle of children and were able to witness a strange drink mixing lesson. However, instead of making Shirley Temples or Rum & Cokes, these children were given liquids I had never heard of. Until the actual results come back from the lab to confirm what exactly these liquids were, I have given the name and a description of what it looked like to me.

Pondscum - Lime Cordial
Toadstool Spirit - Grenadine
Elixir of Life - Guava juice
Gillywater - Mango Peach drink
Honeywater - Apple juice
Dandylion Tonic - Pineapple juice
Hogsmeade Hooch - Cranberry juice
Leech Extract - Grape Kool Aid mix
Unicorn Tears - Coconut milk
Wizards Brew - Water with blue food colouring
Rainbow Crackle - Pop rocks
Crystalized Imp Vomit - Blue sugar crystals
Crystalized Gnome Boogies - Green sugar crystals
Crystalized Troll Earwax - Yellow sugar crystals

I was actually somewhat relieved when the uniformed kids started mixing because they behaved just like any other child I have seen when given free rein to mix liquids. They were not zombies as some of the hysterical reports had claimed. The variety of drinks they made ranged from a two drop potion to an overflowing mess. When the potions were consumed a chorus of 'yum' was heard. Some children even made two.

However, a few minutes later, in another room, an even louder cheer of joy was heard. The doors of the white cabinet were flung open to reveal jar upon jar of candy! To my surprise the young witches and wizards patiently waited their turn, some as long as five minutes, until they were brought up to fill a bag. While waiting the youngsters were given a 'brand new' item. It was called Soapy Bubbles Gum. It was a little purple thing that smelled of soap. The look of disgust on many of the kids faces was evidence this product is doomed to fail. The other products, most I have never heard of, were given good reviews by the children. The entire inventory is listed below:

Creamy Caramel Charms
Dragon Fluff Eggs
Swirly Wands
Muggle Bugs
Diagon Alley
Dribble Drobbles
Unicorn Horns
Lemon Drops
Drooble's Best Blowing Gum
Blood Pops
Fizzing Whizbees
Dragon Blood Drops
Bad Luck Charms
Pixie Stixs
Fiery Dragon Breath
Soapy Bubbles Gum

There was one questionable aspect of the party which was never explained. A baby was seen scooting around the floor dressed in what looked like a rag and was continually referred to as Dobby. I was asked not to give this little guy a sock?