Monday, 28 January 2013



Not Under The Pine Press - January 2013

An interesting new approach to the popular Lottery, oft known as the 'idiot tax', was announced today by a spokesperson from the Ministry of Lottery and Gaming. There will be a new game launched in 2014 that will be marketed as a charitable donation, therby making it a tax deduction. The only difference from the current Lotto set up - nobody will actually win the jackpot. Even with this drastic change the Ministry believes this could be a winning situation for many of those that play the Lotto on a regular basis.
Spokesperson Annie VanReebee explained, "the current set up of the regular lottery is about half the proceeds going to charity and the other half going to the winning number. In 2014 we will be launching a new gaming option where one hundred percent of the money will go to charity. Since all of the money is going to a charitable cause it would be considered tax we all know, most frequent users of the Lotto are never going to win the big Jackpot...with this new option at least the money spent can be used as a deduction on their tax return...charities win and the Lotto losers win as well."

This revamp was initiated after a survey of Lotto players found that :
  • a vast majority never win more than a free ticket
  • a majority agreed with the term 'idiot tax'
  • a strong impression there is social pressure to purchase tickets in order to be able to complain while hanging around the water cooler at the office
  • buying a ticket is a family tradition
An official name for this new game has not been announced. Currently, the press is referring to it as the Loser's Lottery.
10:15pm | Ottawa | NUTPP

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